The Confessional

Our priests are standing by to hear all of your wildest confessions. With COVID-19 turning life upside down, getting out to make those regular confessions has been next to impossible, so we are bringing you service via a private phone call with one of our priests. Did you forget to wear a mask? Again? Was it not quite 6’ feet between you and the next person in the checkout line? Do your bad habits have bad habits? Do those of you in Habits find yourself with bad habits? Did you fantasize about your child’s hot young teacher on Zoom calls despite being married for years? Did your youngest find that nude picture on your phone? Have you been considering how making out via Google Hangouts would work? Has it been so long since you have been with another human than animals have started looking attractive? Have you been using all this time at home to check out what acid is like in the 21st century? Is that bag of marijuana in your sock drawer not really for medicinal purposes? Has the lack of a normal schedule made your bad habits a bit larger than normal? Do not fear, our priests are here to take your confessions and deliver messages of humor with perhaps a sprinkling for hope. We have three priests, carefully chosen to meet your needs; take a look at their backgrounds and schedule an appointment, or three.